my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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