fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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