just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
