Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
