how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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