At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found puke in my bra..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
