they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
