5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
