They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
