16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
