If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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