He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
