I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
