either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wat bout pragnant strippers??
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
