yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
