It's Friday. Sex?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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