I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
