My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
