I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
