i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
