It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
