I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
