So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
