idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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