I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
