you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
