suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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