Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
