I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
