I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
