So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
