You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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