After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
