She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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