As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
