I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
