so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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