So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
