we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
