TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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