I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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