Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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