I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
