i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
