turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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