Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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