When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
