Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
