whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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