Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
