Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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